From Panic to Paper: How Art Helped Me Heal

💛 Why I Create: Finding Calm, Courage, and Joy Through Art

Last week, someone asked me a simple question:“Why do you make art?”

My quick reply was, “Because I enjoy it and wanted to make a career from it.” But later that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about it - because that answer wasn’t the whole truth. There’s so much more behind why I create, and I wanted to share it here.

🌸 My First Panic Attack

When I was fifteen, I had my first panic attack. I still remember it vividly - I was in my grandad’s car, worrying about something (though I can’t remember what it was). We went around a roundabout, and suddenly my heart began to race so fast I couldn’t breathe.

I panicked even more because I couldn’t slow my heartbeat down. It was a terrifying, uncomfortable feeling that left me shaken. My grandad had to pull over, and the rest of the day felt like a blur.

After that, I became traumatised by the experience. I constantly checked my pulse and worried it would happen again - and of course, it did. Over and over. I began to have anxiety about anxiety - trapped in a vicious circle that I didn’t understand and couldn’t escape.

My family were worried about me, and eventually, I had tests at the hospital. They found I was anaemic, which can cause a rapid heartbeat. I took iron tablets, improved my diet, and did everything I could to get better physically - but the fear of panic attacks stayed in my mind.

Every day became a struggle. I started avoiding places where I’d had panic attacks before, or anywhere I felt trapped or alone. I felt safer when people were around, just in case I needed help.

🎨 Discovering Calm Through Art

Art has always been part of me - even as a little girl, I loved drawing. My grandad even kept one of my childhood drawings of a TY Beanie Baby I’d collected.

When I was about seventeen, I picked up a pencil again one day and began sketching. Before I knew it, hours had passed - I looked up, and the anxiety that had been spinning in my mind was suddenly quiet. Drawing became my safe space. Whenever I felt anxious, I’d grab a pen or pencil, and it grounded me.

Bit by bit, with the support of my family and friends, I began to face the places I’d avoided for years. I went back to the cinema. I started going out with friends again.

Anxiety had taken so much from me - including my dream of going to university after college - but I slowly began to rebuild.

🌼 Healing, Step by Step

In my twenties, I was still managing anxiety, but I decided to try CBT therapy. It helped me learn how to process and control anxious thoughts. Around that time, I met my now husband, Antonio, who has been a constant source of love and encouragement.

He helped me do things I never thought I’d manage - travelling, taking my first flight without my family, visiting new cities - all things I once avoided because of fear.

Eventually, I decided to do something for me and enrolled in a Creative Arts degree - something I had always dreamed of .

🐾 The Birth of Paper Pawtraits

During my degree, I started putting my work out into the world. I created pet portraits using paper cuts, paint, and pencils - adding little details to make them come alive in 3D.

To my surprise, people loved them! That’s when Paper Pawtraits was born. Over the next few years, I balanced my degree, part-time work, and my growing business. It was busy, but I finally felt in my element.

My art gave me something to focus on other than my anxiety, and it filled me with purpose.

Even though CBT helped me control my anxiety, I realised it hadn’t quite healed the deeper parts of it. That’s when I came across a book called “Dare” by Barry McDonagh - and it changed everything.

☀️ Learning to Let Go

The book helped me understand that the key isn’t to fight anxiety - it’s to accept it. To stop fearing it. To let it exist without giving it power.

I took my time with it, reading slowly and taking in every word. It took six months to finish, but it completely shifted how I approached anxiety. I let go of fears I’d held onto for twenty years, and I finally felt free.

I always recommend that book to anyone struggling - it’s truly life-changing. Here

🌻 Why I Create

These days, my art is more than just something I love to do - it’s part of who I am. It’s where I find peace, express myself, and share light with others.

I’m also working on my final major project for my degree, which I’ll be completing this December. It’s been such an important part of my journey and has helped me grow in so many ways. As it comes to an end, I feel ready to spread my wings. I know I’ll miss it, but I’m excited for the new chapter ahead - with more time to create artwork and share even more with you.

Through my work - from custom portraits to cute stationery - I want to create joy, comfort, and hope. Because I know how it feels to struggle. I know how it feels to be scared. And I also know that we’re stronger and braver than we realise.

So when people ask, “Why do you make art?”My real answer is this:

I create because it helps me heal - and I want my art to bring happiness, calm, and courage to others too.

🌸 Still on the Journey

I still have anxiety, and sometimes the odd panic attack. They never fully go away Ive come to terms with that, but I’ve learned not to fear them anymore. With self-love, creativity, support, and acceptance, I’ve learned how to face them head-on.

Now, when I feel one coming on, I know how to handle it. They’re never as bad as they once were - sometimes, I can even stop them before they happen.

It’s been a long journey, but one that’s made me stronger and braver than I ever thought I could be.

If you ever need someone to talk to about anxiety or panic attacks, please don’t hesitate to reach out. You’re not alone - and you will be okay. 💛

✨ Final Thoughts

Art is my calm, my joy, and my reminder that even after the darkest storms, we can still create beauty and bring light in to the world.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story From Panic to Paper: How Art Helped Me Heal

And for being part of my journey through Paper Pawtraits.

With love,

Gemma

www.paperpawtraits.co.uk